9 Lives for Harry Potter
by GhostfaceScylla
Summary: Harry has a problem… a furry problem… Somehow, he ends up in the body of Hermione’s favorite cat, Crookshanks! But no magic is going to save him this time! HHr, R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

Hey, everyone! Lara-chan here with her first dive into the Harry Potter fandom. Hope you enjoy! Reviews and flames alike are quite welcome and will win you chapter 2!! Hope you like the story

**Title: 9 Lives for Harry Potter**

**Rating: PG-13 due to occasional strong/suggestive language, only when appropriate**

**Disclaimer: All characters affiliated with the Harry Potter series are property of J.K. Rowling and Scholastic Press**

**Summary: Harry has a problem… a furry problem… Somehow, he ends up in the body of Hermione's favorite cat, Crookshanks! But no magic is going to save him this time! H/Hr, R&R please!**

* * *

He couldn't sleep. 

Not that this was anything terribly unusual. Just, _usually_ when he couldn't sleep it was for reasons like a painful pulsating scar, or a convict hovering over his friend's bed, or a dream about any number of nasty things that could happen to him the following morning. But tonight....

Harry sighed and put his hands behind his head. He looked up at the stone ceiling in his chamber and tried to concentrate on Neville's throaty snoring coming from the other side of the room… anything to push the thought of _her _out of his mind…

But every time he closed his eyes, a picture flashed before him, a picture of a certain bushy brown haired girl smiling against a backdrop of autumn leaves.

Herm.

Hermy.

Mione.

Herm-one-ninny.

Mrs. Hermione Potter.

Good God, this was getting slightly pathetic. 'Well, Potter,' Harry thought to himself, 'you've successfully talked yourself out of _another_ nights sleep…' And it was true. Ever since second year began, Harry had gone bonkers for his best friend, but had never been able to rack up the courage to tell her. No, no, telling her would be much too easy. Might as well just let it eat him from the inside out instead…

He gave himself another mental smack for his cowardice while one of his hands groped around on his bedside table for his glasses. Swinging his feet onto the cold floor, he grabbed a blanket out of his trunk, making his way down to the common room to stare meaninglessly into the fire until sunrise.

Once in the common room, he plopped down on one of the numerous couches, checked the time to the grandfather clock in the corner, 2:00 on the nose, and draped the blanket around his sho-

Wait a minute…

"Bloody hell!" he mumbled under his breath as he noticed that he had grabbed his invisibility cloak by mistake… not exactly something you'd wanna cuddle up to…

Now, Hermione, on the other hand, she would be quite cuddly…

'Once again, Potter, your dirty thoughts have succeeded in turning your brain to tapioca…' He mentally chided while running a hand through his hair, glad that no one could hear what he was thinking.

On the other hand, though, he _did_ wonder what she was doing right now…

And then, slowly, ever so slowly, a voice emerged from the back of his mind. An impish voice, something of a cross between Padfoot and Prongs whispered to him. His eyes fell on the invisibility cloak in his hands.

It wouldn't hurt to take a quick peek, would it? He could throw the invisibility cloak on, sneak up the stairs, and be back down in thirty seconds…

It wasn't like he wanted to _do_ anything to her! He…he just wanted to see her sleeping, that's all, wizard's honor…

Harry's mind continued rationalizing, convincing him that it was _not_, under 'certain circumstances', wrong or creepy to break into a girl's dorm and hover over the girl you were in love with when she slept.

He chuckled silently to himself as he draped the cape over one arm and sauntered over to the girl's staircase. Picking one foot up, he was about to set it down on the bottom step when-

"Harry Potter shouldn't do that, sir!"

Harry wheeled around and strained his eyes to see into the shadows. "Who's there?" he spat, digging in his pajama pockets for his wand.

"Harry Potter will put one foot on the bottom stairs and the whole staircase will turn into a slide for Harry Potter. Harry Potter will slide right down and make a big crash, sir!" a little creature stepped out from behind one of the overstuffed chairs, his pointy ears sticking out funnily from one of Hermione's hand-knit S.P.E.W. hats.

Harry let out a sigh of relief. "Dobby. Thank God." For a minute, he thought he had been in real trouble. But Dobby was right, he had forgotten the girls stairs turned into a slide whenever a boy tried to go up it.

Dobby skirted over towards him, shifting excitedly back and forth. "Dobby can help Harry Potter, sir!"

Harry cringed as he thought about all the other times Dobby had tried to 'help' him. Almost all of them resulted in someone losing an appendage…or worse. "No, no, Dobby, that's ok, I really don't need to get up there that badly..."

"Harry Potter wants to see miss? Dobby will help Harry Potter, sir!" with that, Dobby grabbed Harry's hand and pulled Harry's face within an inch of his. "All Harry Potter has to do is," Dobby glanced around the room to make sure no one else was listening, "ta…st…wo…a….me…"

Harry looked puzzled. "Er…What was that, Dobby, can't hear a thing you're saying." Dobby leaned closer to Harry's ear and whispered, ever so softly.

"Take……the steps……two……at a time…"

"T-that's it? That's the big 'magic' that keeps boys out of the girl's dorms?"

The house elf nodded his head so furiously that his cap almost came off. "Good luck with miss, Harry Potter sir!" and with that, Dobby retreated into the shadows again.

Harry turned back to the stairs, feeling a bit less sure than before. "Er…" Something in the back of his brain was telling him that advice from Dobby was just about as good as advice from death. But, his passions held out in the end. "Well, can't live forever I suppose."

He took a step.

Skipped one.

Took a step.

Paused. Listened for the creak that meant the steps were flattening out about to send him spiraling downwards towards the cobblestone and a gruesome end. Nothing.

Wait, nothing?

Took another step. Still nothing! His confidence rose as he sprinted up the last remaining sixteen steps and only when he was standing on the landing above did he realize that he had actually _made it!_

Harry wheeled around and grabbed the doorknob of a great wooden door marked with a giant golden 6. Ever so slowly, while gathering the invisibility cloak about him, he eased the door open and crept in, shutting it quickly behind him.

Turning around slowly, he surveyed the scene.

A thin slant of moonlight fell across the floor from an open window at one corner of the room. The wind coming in from the window was lightly ruffling the curtains hanging on the four-poster beds. Harry tuned his ears to a monotonous droning noise coming from one side of the room. He searched around in the dark, trying to find where it was coming from, only to lay eyes upon a very sleepy, very snoring, slightly drooling, Lavender hanging halfway off of her bed.

He quickly clasped a hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh…if only the school knew… Lavender, pretty little perfect knock-your-socks-off-for-a-bit-of-gossip Lavender, snores like an ogre when she sleeps! On second thought, accented by the drool hanging off her lips, she kind of _looks _like an ogre when she sleeps, too…

'Now,' Harry thought to himself, 'Which…which bed would be hers?' He hadn't exactly anticipated this problem yet. Actually, he hadn't really anticipated getting any farther than the landing anyways. Harry made a mental note to get Dobby something BIG for Christmas.

Suddenly, his attention was redirected to the slant of moonlight. His eyes followed it to where it hit the foot of a bed that was on the far wall, illuminating a stack of books: _6th Year Arithmancy_, _Advanced Potions for Everyday Usage_, _The Wide World of Curses and Countercurses_, and-

Ah, yes, _Hogwarts, A History_. That would be hers.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Harry crept across the room to her bed, lifted his hand towards the heavy curtains, and pulled them back.

His breath caught in his throat.

God she was… she was… unexplainable.

Hermione was smiling in her sleep, her hair fanning out across her pillow, one hand resting gently near her face, one hand on a ball of fur that was curled up at her side. Crookshanks.

"Lucky cat," Harry breathed.

He didn't know how long he stood there taking in the rosy glow of her cheeks, or the methodical rising and falling of her breathing, but it was long enough. Slowly, Harry realized it was time he got back to his own dorm room.

But before he went…

He just wanted to touch her. Once. That's all. Come on, she wasn't going to wake up from _that_, was she?

Harry reached out his hand to stroke her forehead, to touch her soft skin, when-

Something stirred. Something furry. Crookshanks stood up, dislodging Hermione's arm from his back. The cat turned in a circle and stared at Harry as if it was actually seeing him, despite the cloak. Harry gave an involuntary shiver.

Crookshanks dropped lightly from the bed to the floor, keeping his glowing eyes on Harry. There was something haunting about them, something unreal and omnipotent. "N-nice kitty-" Harry heard himself saying. Lavender gave a snort in her sleep.

Suddenly, Crookshanks took a flying leap straight towards Harry's face. He put his hands out in front of him to catch the cat, the invisibility cloak fell off of him, and-

* * *

"HE CAUGHT THE SNITCH! HARRY POTTER CAUGHT THE SNITCH!" Lee's voice rang out over the Hogwarts Quidditch Pitch as Harry made a graceful landing back on the center of the field, snitch in hand. "GRYFFINDOR BEATS SLYTHERIN! GRYFFINDOR BEATS SLYTHERIN 250-0!"

The field was swarming with Gryffindor students. They grabbed Harry and hoisted him high above their shoulders, carrying him back towards the castle in a fit of fury. Ron was shouting something up at Harry, but he couldn't hear him over the crowd of people shouting his name.

"HA-RRY, HA-RRY, HA-RRY!"

"Well, Harry," a voice rang out from the middle of the crowd, "I guess I finally have to admit that you're just better than me. Better at Quidditch, better at potions, and God knows you're better looking," Harry turned to see Draco Malfoy yelling up at him. "Mind giving me some tips on how to catch the ladies?"

Harry scratched his head…why did this feel like a dream?

The Gryffindors put him down in the common room right in the middle of his own celebration party. Suddenly, Harry felt a tug on his sleeve. He looked behind him to see a smiling Hermione.

"Will you go on a walk with me?" she blushed.

"Er…yeah, lemme grab my coat."

The grounds were beautifully manicured this time of year as Hermione and Harry strolled around the lake in blissful silence. She walked a little ahead of him, meandering through with no particular purpose. Then, she stopped and wheeled around.

"H-Harry," Her voice had gone all breathy as she moved towards him, "I just wanted you to know that you were…amazing today."

"Hermione? You feeling all right?" She suddenly latched her arms around him.

"Oh yes," a mischievous grin was growing on her face, "Oh I'm fine. Now. I am _absolutely_ _infatuated_ with you, Harry Potter. You're so strong. And brave. And magical. I love your unruly hair and your sexxxxxy glasses?"

"I-I love you, too. Gosh, this feels like a dream." He kissed her lightly on her lips and she drove him deeper, a fire erupting within him. Finally, after a couple of minutes, they had to break for air. She brought her mouth up to his ear and whispered ever so delicately.

"Yes, just like a dream. Too bad it is."

"Wha-"

* * *

Harry felt a hand on his back, someone bent down beside him. "Wake up." Someone nudged him, "Come on, wake up! You can't just sleep all morning." It drove into Harry's sub-conscious, a girl's voice.

A terror seized him.

A girl's voice?

Had he…had he fallen asleep in the girl's dorm?

"Wake up, lazy!"

Harry sprung forward and bolted upright. He quickly took in his surroundings and his heart was suddenly pounding so hard within his chest that it began to be painful… The girls dorm… He had slept in the girls dorm… this was beyond 'Professor-Snape' bad. Heck, this was even beyond 'Lord-Voldermort' bad. This was…This was 'Angry-Hermione' bad…

And just his luck. Hermione was crouched down over him, her hair falling around her face and masking her expression.

"Her-Hermione, I can explain-" Harry began.

She stood up lightly, her white nightgown billowing. "Oh, talkative this morning, aren't we? Well, whadd'l it be? A dish of cream? Or would you rather go down to breakfast with me this morning?" She turned around and flung her hair over her shoulders, a small smile on her face.

It took Harry a few minutes to process what she had just said. A dish of cream? What was he? An animal? And why wasn't she mad?

Hermione seemed to not care in the least that there was a 16 year old boy splayed out on the floor beside her bed. In fact, she was rummaging around in her trunk for something, not paying the least bit of attention to Harry at all.

"Hmm… let's see now…Where did I put that extra parchment? Might as well get some work done before classes start, right, Crookshanks?"

Crookshanks?

Harry brought his hand up to scratch his head and – gasped in horror. It…it wasn't a hand at all… It was a tabby paw. He whipped around to look at himself. Four paws! A tail! Oh, no….no….

"Crookshanks? Coming with me to the common room?"

Then the horror set in.

Harry – was stuck inside the body – of Hermione's cat.

* * *

Well, that's all for today, folksies!! Please R&R or no chapter 2!! Thanks for reading!! Both flames and reviews, as always, are quite welcome. Catch ya later!! 3 days until PoA! W00T!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone!! I just wanted to thank you all for the wonderful support you gave me on the first chappie of my first EVER HP story. It means the world to me, you guys rock my BEiNG!!  


B. R. Wells : Heh, you would think so. Just keep reading and you'll find out shortly! Thankies for the review!!  
Auntartic : Ah, to each his own. Are you a R/Hr shipper or a D/Hr shipper? Glad you read anyways and thanks for the support!  
SesamE ChIckEN : Thank you so much!! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much. Hope you like the update!!

Lady Lampshade : Hehe, thankies! That was one of my favorite parts, too. Hope you're still reading!  
Quist : YOU ROCK! Hehe, thankies for following me to a different fandom, you have no idea how much that means to me! And I'm glad it made you laugh ;) I hope you like the next chappie. O, in case you're curious, I'm thinking I'll update Paradise next Tuesday. Thankies again!!  
thesimspokehamtarofan : Haha, thank you very, very much! Here's your update, hope you're still with me!

Mrpadget : heh heh heh. Harry's asking the same question right about now. Read on to find out! Thankies for the review!!  
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Hermione Graner Potter : Thankies! Yayeh for us H/Hr shippers, buddy. We gotta stick together!!

Rukato86 : He _did_ kinda deserve it, didn't he? Your wish is my command! Hope you like it!  
Cara : Awww, thankies! I'm glad you liked it that much!   
Me222 : The boy _is_ a bit accident-prone, isn't he? Heh, glad you found it funny and thanks for the review!  
azulrealms : Yesh! I love my ship! I'm glad you appreciate it as well. Thankies for the review and here's your update!  
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artemisgirl : Hehe, I'm glad you like the plotline. To be frank, I wasn't quite sure how it would go over, but I'm glad you found it interesting. Thanks!!  
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lluna21 : Glad you enjoyed it! And here's your update. Thankies for the review!

l-to-dah-izzie : It's good to hear that you liked it! And your update has arrived. Thanks!

Mudblood128 : Here's your chapter update. Hope you like it!!  
  
  
**Title: 9 Lives for Harry Potter**

**Rating: PG-13 due to occasional strong/suggestive language, only when appropriate**

**Disclaimer: All characters affiliated with the Harry Potter series are property of J.K. Rowling and Scholastic Press**

**Summary: Harry has a problem… a furry problem… Somehow, he ends up in the body of Hermione's favorite cat, Crookshanks! But no magic is going to save him this time! H/Hr, R&R please!**

* * *

"Well, come _on_, Crookshanks!" Hermione sounded a bit agitated now as she chided her 'cat'. "Better hurry or we'll wake the whole dorm up!"

Suddenly, a pillow came flying in Hermione's general direction and smacked her square in the back of the head. "Mm….Too late for that…" someone mumbled behind her. Harry turned his furry little head to see a disgruntled Lavender rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and looking quite put out with Hermione.

"Good God, Hermione. It's Saturday. D'you ever sleep in?" Parvarti propped herself up with one arm and parted the curtains around her bed.

"Er…" Hermione was having a bit of trouble producing words. All of her attention was focused on her ginger cat clawing her leg to pieces. "Crookshanks!" She chided through clenched teeth.

"Where'r you going anyway?" Lavender slurred her speech together as she tried to steady herself on the stone floor.

Hermione sighed. "J-just down to the common room…"

Parvarti's eyes were fully opened now. "To do what?" She said, almost too eagerly.

"Just some homework…" She fidgeted. This third degree happened too often when one lived with Parvarti and Lavender.

"Really?" Lavender sauntered towards her. "This early? Come, come now, Hermione, even you're not that eager…"

"W-why else would I be going down there?" Hermione made a bee line for the door, her hand outstretched to the knob-

"Oh, I don't know… Maybe you're trying to catch an early morning glimpse of a certain-"

Her hand fell back and automatically went to her hips, "Lavender. Drop it. Now."

"A certain Harry James Potter, perhaps?"

Hermione could feel her face getting hotter and hotter. She tugged at her bathrobe collar. At the mention of Harry, Crookshanks had jumped up attentively on Lavender's bed and was now receiving a relaxing back rub from her.

"Crookshanks, You traitor! Get DOWN here!" Hermione roared.

"Just a wild guess, Hermione. No reason to get so flustered…" Lavender turned towards Parvarti then and whispered shrilly, "I always _said_ she could never contain her emotions properly…"

"I…This…this has nothing to do with _him!_ I'm just going down to do some homework, if that's ok with you, _Princess Lavender_."

"Oh, come off it, Hermione. You think we don't hear you mumbling his name at night?" At this point, Parvarti threw herself back on the bed and pretended to be a sleeping, tossing, turning, gasping Hermione. "Harry, Harry! NO, HARRY! Don't go! Harry-Remember-Padfoot-!"

Lavender bent double laughing. "I-aha-I swear, Parvarti, that's good! Sounds just like her, all that incoherent drabble!"

Hermione's hands were fisted at her sides. Crookshanks let out something between a hiss and a moan at the mention of Padfoot. "Will You Just Shut UP! Both of you! You don't know anything! Leave Harry OUT OF THIS!"

Parvarti and Lavender went silent.

Good. She had finally won.

Just then, Lavender clasped her hand to her mouth. The corners of her lips turned up in a smile. "Hn…hn hn….ha ha ha….ha Ha HA! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" The two girls were in hysterics again. Hermione, terribly frustrated, headed towards the door as Crookshanks jumped up on her shoulder.

In a few seconds, she would have peace in the Common Room…

She flung the door open…

Took a definite step outside, and-

Lavender's voice reached her ears again. Hermione silently cursed as she spun around to see Lavender crouched down on the left side of her bed, staring at something on the floor. "Oooh! Hermione! What's this?"

It was a pile of liquid…no…cloth….beautiful silver cloth….

For the second time that day, Hermione's fists balled up as it clicked in her head. Harry's Invisibility Cloak. In _her _room. What in the name of Dumbledore was it doing in HERE?!

Lavender was about to pick the cloak up when Hermione stalked over, eyebrows knotted, and threw out a hand towards her. "Give it."

"Well, that's a funny way of asking for something. You know, Hermione, this is quite pretty. What _is_ it?"

"Give it!"

"A gift from Harry Potter, perhaps?"

Lavender had just cut the thread that Hermione's sanity had been hanging by. Before Lavender knew it, she was confronted with the blunt end of Hermione's wand.

"Lavender! I am very, _very_ angry right now, and I _really_ need to release some of this pent-up energy. So, either you give it to me, or I'll switch your brain with Mrs. Norris's and we'll see how much you like _eating_ rats as opposed to _being_ one!"

Lavender contemplated the situation for a moment, and then reluctantly handed over Harry's Invisibility Cloak. Hermione snatched it from her and bundled it under her arms.

"Hermione…what is it?" Parvarti asked very cautiously from the other side of the room while using a pillow as a shield.

"It's…my new dress robes."

"Bought to impress Harry, no doubt!" Lavender countered.

"Bugger off!!" And with that, Hermione slammed the door behind her.

Parvarti and Lavender passed a few seconds of silence staring at the reverberating door. "Obsessed. She's utterly obsessed." Lavender stated.

"I fully agree." Parvarti shook her head solemnly as she plopped down on her pillow and fell immediately asleep.

* * *

Harry let out a meow of joy.

She talked about him. In her sleep! She cared enough to actually _dream_ about him! Maybe the situation between them wasn't hopeless… could she…_love_ him?

Well, it didn't look too promising right this minute.

Harry could feel Hermione's whole body shaking from her shoulder as she walked down the stairs. She was gripping the Invisibility Cloak with such… ferocity…Harry had never seen her _this_ angry before.

"I'll kill him…" she was mumbling. "I will _kill_ him, sever his limbs, and bury them in different locations so NO ONE will be able to find enough of him to mourn!" The kitty hairs on Harry's back bristled. "Ugh!" Hermione grabbed 'Crookshanks' off her shoulder and sent him flying through the air. To Harry's surprise, he landed perfectly on his feet at the bottom of the staircase. He shook his head and twitched his ears a bit, batting the end of his tail back and forth and staring up at Hermione.

At once, her expression softened and she hurried down the length of the staircase, stopping and peering down in 'Crookshanks' face. "Oh…I'm sorry…" She scooped the cat up again and held him like a baby in her arms. He let out a contented purr. 'That's strange,' she thought, 'usually he _hates_ to be cuddled…'

Hermione absently stroked 'Crookshanks' as she plopped down on one of the worn Common Room sofas. "It's not your fault, I know." Harry snickered at this, but she didn't seem to notice. "I'm just…so angry." Her stroking became more of a beating at this point. 'Crookshanks' winced under the pressure.

"ImeanhonestlyHowDAREheSneakingintoMYroominthemiddleofthenightIbethewasgoingtoplayatrickonme,orsomethingelseequallyhorribleIt'sjustasIalwaysthought,theboyhasNOrespectforme!I'mjustapushovertohim!"

At this point, 'Crookshanks' wrestled himself free from Hermione's grip. He jumped to the floor and let out a long hiss.

"What's you're problem this morning?" Hermione chided, and then went on talking to herself. "I swear, when I see him, I will fricassee him…..It won't be pretty." She jumped up and started pacing the room. "I'll feed him to a hungry dragon…or maybe my wand will 'malfunction' and turn him into a pincushion or something…"

Harry was beginning to think it was a very good thing that he was stuck in the body of a cat. A pincushion? How mad could she be?

'Great, Harry Potter,' he thought, 'the girl you love Absobloodylutely hates you now…' Maybe he could lay low in this furry body for a while until she calmed down enough for him to relay a message to her….

Harry stole a peek at her. She had stopped pacing and was now sitting on a windowsill across the room from him. The sun was just beginning to rise and her hair looked like a golden halo infused with the sunlight that was filtering through the window. Harry managed a small cat sigh before Hermione turned towards him and began talking again.

"But you know what will happen, don't you Crookshanks? I'll be furious at him for the first five minutes I see him, then he'll ruffle his hair or fidget for his wand in his pockets…or look at me, well, you know….the way he _looks_ at me sometimes… and I'll find it's harder to stay mad at him than to give in…"

If Harry could have yelled, or jumped up and down, or even laughed, he would have. Unfortunately, in his present state, all he could do was loudly purr and jump into Hermione's lap.

"But right now…" She mumbled, "I still want him dead."

Suddenly, Harry's sensitive ears picked up footsteps coming from the boy's staircase. He sunk his claws into Hermione's lap.

"Ouch!" She stood up quickly, once again sending Harry falling towards the floor.

Someone spoke from the shadows of the staircase. Someone…slightly agitated.

"O-oy, Hermione…" Ron stifled a yawn. "'S Saturday…D'you have to keep screaming down here? I was having a perfectly _lovely_ dream about beating the knickers off the Slytherin Quidditch team, and all of a sudden-" He rubbed his eyes and stretched, "Lee starts shouting in your voice about how he wants to turn Harry into a…needle, was it?"

"Pincushion."

"Ah…" Ron tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes. "'S right. Slipped my mind."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Is that _all_ you came down here for?"

"…Someone's in a chord today. And no, that wasn't," Ron put his hands on his hips in a weak imitation of Hermione, "_all _I came down here for. Dean and Neville want you to shove it. There's so much noise they can't even…dream straight!"

"What, no word from the fearless invisible boy?" She spat, her anger bubbling up to the surface again.

"What're you going on about now?"

"As if you don't know, Ron Weasley! Here!" Hermione lobbed the Invisibility Cloak at Ron's forehead. "Give this to Mr. Harry Potter and tell him to shove it so far up his a-"

"Hermione, what are you doing with this?" Ron spread the cloak between his two hands.

"You can march right up to your dorm room and ask that inconsiderate, disrespectful best friend of yours where the he-"

"If you're talking about Harry, he's not up there. I came down here because I thought he was with you."

"-ll he gets off- wait, what? What d'you mean he's not up there?"

"I mean that Harry is…not…up…there. What else would I mean?!" Crookshanks jumped up on Ron's shoulder unexpectedly and almost toppled the poor red-head over. "Crazy cat!" He exclaimed while trying to pry Crookshanks' claws from his bathrobe.

The color drained from Hermione's face. "Ron…" Ron was now entangled in a fight with Crookshanks…and losing. "Ron?" Crookshanks had advanced to boxing Ron's ears. "RON!"

"WHAT?! Bloody What, Hermione?"

"Lavender found the Invisibility Cloak beside my bed this morning. No sign of Harry. At first…at first I thought…." She blushed and stared at the floor. "I thought he might have been spying on me and left the cloak by accident. But, you don't think-"

"-That he was in some kind of trouble, so he came to you for help, and you slept on while something horrible happened to him?"

Hermione's usually collected expression morphed into one of horror.

"Er…..no…..no, not at all…" Ron tried to recover and Hermione's eyes welled up with tears. "Oh, come on Hermione, buck up. He's got to be _somewhere_. People just don't _disappear!_ You search the libray, the owlery, and the dungeons, and I'll search the great hall and the grounds. Ok?"

"I…I think we should tell Professor McGonagall…"

"You'd say that if Harry got a splinter in his wand hand!"

Hermione huffed, visibly offended. "Would _not!_ I just don't think it's very smart for us to be running around Hogwarts alone if Harry is missing."

"But Harry is _not_ missing! And what're you going to say to McGonagall, anyway? 'We didn't know where Harry was, so we immediately jumped to the conclusion that You-Know-Who has eaten him and we've come to alert you'? That sounds _really_ mature of us…"

"………."

"….Look….Hermione…If we don't find him, _I'll _go to McGonagall with you, ok?"

Hermione scowled, not wanting to admit defeat to Ron, and clutching her bathrobe tight around her, ran off in the direction of the owlery with Crookshanks attached to her shoulder and meowing loudly.

"Bloody cat." Ron mumbled as he made his way towards the Great Hall. "Strange, though… Seems more annoying than usual…"

* * *

Well, that's all folkses! Hope you enjoyed it and leave me something. Flames and reviews alike are quite welcome and will win you chappie 3! Thanks for reading. Till next time!  
larachan 


	3. Chapter 3

Hey, ya'll! Larachan here with the next update of Harry Potter! Thankies for all the reviews, I really appreciate it! I hope you like this chapter as well and pllllllease review or no chapter 4!

No, to my reviewers who ROCK MY BEiNG!****

**Nightwing**** 509: **Well, thankies! Haha, I'm glad you liked how the girls teased Hermy. They can be a little overbearing sometimes, can't they? Thanks again for the review and I hope you're still reading!

**artemisgirl****: **Omy! Thank you so much! I'm glad you think so! Sorry about the long update time and I hope you like this chapter as well as the last one!  
**Rukato86:** I'm glad you thought it was funny! Hope you like this update!  
**Quist****:** Quisty! Thanks for the review dear! And it was so nice and long, too! I'm glad you think my characters aren't terribly ooc, despite the fact that one of them is feline J Sometimes, I have quite a bit o' trouble writing our dear Ronniekins. Thanks for the support, as always, you ROCK!  
**fanjimmy****:** Here it is, hope you like it and thanks for reviewing!

**Tamar-shaki:** Well, thanks very much! I hope things continue to your liking and thankies again for taking time to review!   
**pottersweetie****: **Hehe, sorry about the long update time, hope you're stillr reading and thanks for the nice review!  
**Admiral Lily: **Can do! Thanks for reading! :D

**Monkeystarz****:** HAH! You crack me up, buddy, that you do! True, a needle is quite a bit nicer than a pincushion, I suppose. I'd feel rather lucky, too wink wink wink wink heh, thanks again for reading.

**pumpkinjuicy****: **Have I found a PumpkinPie shipper? I hope so! H/HR forever! Hehe, thanks for reading and I'm glad you thought so ;)

**Cajun Rogue: **Hehe, thanks for adding me to the Author Alerts, I 'preciate it! And as for Harry's body, Harry is wondering the exact same thing…..maniacal laugh  
**mary****.: **Well, thankies! About your question: I'll leave you to decide after you read this chapter more maniacal laughter  
**l-to-dah-izzie: **Aww, don't cry hands tissue Here's your update!

**Pannikittypiggyphant****: **Thanks so much! And, as you will see as the story progresses, Harry turned into a cat for numerous reasons :0) Hope you're still reading!

**Hermione Graner Potter: **Thanks muchos! Glad you liked it! And, maybe Harry will like being toast better than being a pincushion…we can always hope….

**Sapphy****: **Yssa! I lerve you!!! Thankies for reviewing this and numerous other things! Email me sometime!! Hope your summer's going well, enjoy it while it lasts, and thanks again!  
**Auntartic****: **hehe thanks for such a long review! And thanks again for reviewing and reading even if you don't fully support the pairings, it means a lot!

**Mistaken Otaku: **Hehe, right you are, too many fics, I'm afraid…I can't finish any! Thanks for reading and hope you're still with me!

**Adri2000: **hehe, thankies so much! Hope you like the next chapter****

**Jae****: **Why, thank you! Here's your update now, your review made me finally get off my lazy butt and write something, feel special!

Thanks to all those that added me to their favorites and Author Alerts list! It means a lot! Hope you like the next chapter, guys!

**Title: 9 Lives for Harry Potter**

**Rating: PG-13 due to occasional strong/suggestive language, only when appropriate**

**Disclaimer: All characters affiliated with the Harry Potter series are property of J.K. Rowling and Scholastic Press**

**Summary: Harry has a problem… a furry problem… Somehow, he ends up in the body of Hermione's favorite cat, Crookshanks! But no magic is going to save him this time! H/Hr, R&R please!**

* * *

Thunk.

Thunk.

Thunk.

Hermione's footsteps were heavy this morning, jarring her whole body, and consequently, jarring the cat that was trying to get a substantial grip on her shoulder. Harry had almost fallen off numerous times on the way to the owlery and was now being forced to use 'claw tactics' to remain on his perch.

She didn't seem to notice too much, though…. Hermione kept talking to herself, wringing her hands, and looking around the corridor shiftily. Harry hadn't determined yet whether she still felt the need to bash Harry's furry little head in…

Or was she beginning to get genuinely worried about him?

"Where could he be? Honestly, that Harry Potter has a pretty stunning reputation for doing abnormally stupid things…"

"Hey now!' Harry countered, but it only came out as a caterwaul that produced a small giggle from Hermione. Guess she was still pretty tweaked at him…

"Ok." Hermione proclaimed, stopping just outside the wooden doors to the owlery, "He'll be in here…He _will_ be in here." She grabbed the handles, pulled, and took a few steps inside. The smell of owls and rodents filled Harry's sensitive kitty nostrils.

Hermione looked around on impulse, searching every dark corner for the missing Harry Potter, to no avail. However… Harry felt her body tense up as she circled her gaze back to a window on the right side of the room. There, standing next to a pretty snowy white owl, delicately using her manicured fingers to tie a piece of parchment around the beast's leg, was Cho Chang. "I'll be damned." Hermione mumbled, barely audibly.

Harry watched as Hermione tugged at her bathrobe. She straightened her hair, checked her breath.

Was she…Fidgeting?

Hermione abruptly stopped as Cho froze, hearing her presence, and turned her way. The sun was just coming into the window making her hair shine. She leaned against one of the windowpanes, fully dressed in her Ravenclaw robes, and looking quite composed for this early in the morning.

The bushy-haired girl gave an involuntary shudder as Cho's eyes descended upon her. There was a definitive, cocky air about Cho this morning…One that Harry had never witnessed before…

Hermione puffed up her chest and walked defiantly across the room until she was an arms length away from Cho.

"Are _those_ what Gryffindor's call uniforms? I don't know what muggles teach their children, but here in the Wizarding World we were always taught that clothes were meant to cover _up_ the body, not expose it." Cho pointed a finger at Hermione's terry-cloth bathrobe and nightgown. "Tsk, tsk, Hermione, what would Professor McGonagall say if she saw you walking around the halls in that!"

Hermione gave a snort of defiance. "For a start, She'd tell _you_ to stop being such a prude and mind your own business." Ouch. Point. Hermione 1, Cho 0.

"It's just that the sight of all that pale, unnatural looking skin is beginning to mar the public beauty." Double ouch. Point to Cho. It was strange for Harry to see Cho acting like this… when had Cho and Hermione begun to hate each other so much?

"Look, Cho, I didn't come here to be graced with your presence. So, you can forget how much you hate me, without cause might I add, for one single minute while I do what I have to do, and after that I'd be happy to leave you to admire yourself in peace."

"I don't _hate_ you, Hermione. I just think Harry's wasting his time on you because, after all, you _are_ a waste of time." Harry's ears began turning a not-so-complimentary shade of pink. No one could say that to _his_ Hermione and get away with it! Why was Cho being so nasty to her? Was she always like this when she thought Harry wasn't around?

"We're just FRIENDS, you IDIOT-y-you know what? I don't have time for this. I'm looking for Harry. Have you seen him?"

"What?" The raven-haired girl pretended not to hear her.

"It's a yes or no question. Surely you have enough command of the English language to-"

Cho rolled her eyes and went back to fiddling with her parchment and the rather impatient owl. "You mean for once in his life he isn't _chained_ at the hip to you and Ron?" She gave a snort of defiance.

Hermione's temper was beginning to flare again. "Look, I don't know what you mean by _that_, but Ron and I-"

Harry saw something out of the corner of his eye that made him stop listening to the girls all together.

Across the room on a perch, with her head tucked under her wing and dozing peacefully, was Hedwig.

His Hedwig. Thank God, what a comforting sight! Hedwig would help him…after all, she had never failed him before…

He leapt off Hermione's shoulder and bounded towards her, stopping just under her perch. She was sleeping lightly, he could tell from her breathing, but how was he supposed to wake her up? He was a _cat_ after all….

He tried for the quick approach although he was sure it would come out all meows. "Hedwig! Oy, Hedwig! Rise and shine! Hedwig!"

The great white bird untucked her head from her wing and opened one eye, then the other, blinked, and stared down at Harry. And oddly enough, something strange happened…"What do you want now, Crhoookshanks?" She spoke in a slightly agitated, refined tone.

Harry stumbled backwards. "I-I can talk to animals!"

Hedwig bristled her feathers. "Just hooo exactly are you calling an _animal_?"

"H-Hedwig, it's me. It's Harry! I'm stuck inside the body of Crookshanks, and-"

"Hhhharry?" Hedwig cocked her head to the side and gave Harry the once over. "Crhoookshanks, it's too early in the mhooorning for your games."

"But Hedwig, I'm _not_ Crookshanks, at least… I wasn't last night-"

Suddenly, the perch beside Hedwig's stirred restlessly, and a little tuft of white became airborne.

"Hedwig, Hedwig, HEDWIG! It's a cat! Cat! Cat! Crookshanks! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty!" The little owl sung in a high-pitched, droning, whine reminiscent of a mosquito.

"Pig!" Harry shouted. "Pig, I'm not a cat! Surely you remember me, I'm Harry! Remember?...Please?" Harry pleaded with the buzzing ball of white.

"Not a, not a, not a cat! Hedwig, Crookshanks says he's not a, not a, not a cat! What're those kitty ears then? Or those kitty eyes? Or that mangy kitty fur? What about that kitty, kitty, kitty tail?!" Pig shrieked excitedly.

"Lhoooks like a cat to me." Hedwig announced from her perch.

"But I'm not a cat!" Harry protested, lying down on the cold ground and suddenly feeling very much like Alice stuck in Wonderland.

And then, something ran across his front paws.

Something… furry.

And somewhere, in the back of his instinctive prehistoric brain, someone threw on a light switch.

"A mouse!" He sprang up on all fours. "'S a mouse. Where'd it go?! A mouse! A mouse!"

No, Harry, resist the temptation…

But he _needed_ to… He _had_ to find it. His whole _life_ depended on it!

No, it's just primordial instinct! You shall overcome!

Who wants a nice mousey for breakfast? Harry does!

'Don't give in!' The more sophisticated side of his brain was screaming at him, but it was being drowned out as Harry felt Crookshanks' body leap forward in pursuit of the furry little rodent.

"No!" He was screaming aloud as this incontrollable feline body of his took him on a joyride. The little mouse in front of him kicked his running spree into high gear and somehow, Harry's body drew on an unknown energy source to follow suit.

"Ach! Watch it, ya blaggard!" A barn owl with an Irish accent yelled at him as a well placed kitty paw sent a water dish careening across the floor.

"Er….sorry!" Harry turned his head and tried to yell back, his body trampling towards destination unknown. He could feel his paws straining… almost got the mouse, it's right there…stretch…

"EEP!" The mouse shouted and dove left.

"Ghoood Heavens!" Another angry owl shouted at him as his tail toppled over her perch.

"Oh dear…"

By this time, half the owlery had been awakened, and all were looking quite ruffled…and quite anxious to peck the eyes out of Harry's head. He could just hear Hedwig and Pig talking about him as he ran towards the side of the room that Hermione was on.

"Definitely cat behavihooor. Hoo-hoo-hoooo's the animal now?" Hedwig pronounced.

"Look at him run, run run! Get that mouse, puddy tat!" Pig was dancing from talon to talon on his perch.

Harry ran between Hermione's feet and caught snippets of their conversation. "Fine!" She was saying. "If that's how you feel about it!" She reached down with perfect timing and caught Harry by the tail, swinging him up into her arms and holding him like a baby. "C'mon, Crookshanks." She mumbled.

Harry saw the mouse disappear into a crack on the far wall. The rodent turned back for just a minute, catching Harry's gaze, and…winked at him… Little mousey laughter tinkled through the walls and followed Hermione and 'Crookshanks' all the way out of the owlery.

Hermione swung the owlery doors shut behind her and leaned against them, dropping 'Crookshanks' to the floor and letting out a long sigh.

Was she…holding back tears?

"She's….she's insufferable!" Her hands clenched to fists at her side. "Not good enough, she says! Me! Not good enough to befriend Harry Potter!" Harry was a little taken aback; he hadn't heard _that_ part of Cho and Hermione's conversation…. "What On Earth did Harry ever see in her!" Harry was starting to question that himself. "I mean, sure…she's got that…hair…and those….eyes…. and she's funny….and I guess she's smart…"

Hermione sat down on the floor and drew her knees up. "And she's older than him…got tons of friends…an amazing Quidditch player…. No wonder Harry prefers her to every other girl…."

Then, something dawned on Harry. Could Hermione be…jealous? Of Cho? Harry's little kitty heart skipped a beat. That would have to mean that she cared for him…something deeper than friendship.

At that moment, he would have given anything to be in human form, to hold her, to tell her that _she_ was the one he preferred to every other girl. Unfortunately, in his present state, all he could do was rub at her legs and purr loudly. Desperately, he tried to think of a way to turn himself back into a human, to comfort Hermione when she needed him most, despite the fact that he knew she would be quite cross with him when he returned. But Hermione was barely paying any attention to him, she went on talking to herself.

"You're right, of course. No sense in sitting here feeling sorry for myself." She scrambled to her feet and began to walk off down the corridor with 'Crookshanks' on her heels. "Best if I check the dungeon now…"

But she hadn't been walking very long when 'Crookshanks' sensitive ears picked up something. Footsteps…coming this way… and by the irregular pattern of them, it was someone who was more than a _little_ confused…

Hermione turned the corner and smacked head on into a face full of glasses and electricity-conducting hair.

Professor Trelawney.

Both hit the ground with a thud and a groan at the force of the impact. "P-professor?" Hermione countered, jumping to her feet and rubbing the emerging knot on her forehead. "Are you all right?" She reached out a hand to try and pull Trelawney up, and after much struggling, succeeded.

Professor Trelawney was a sight to behold this early in the morning. Her silver sparkly bathrobe was bunched at her waist, and Harry caught a glimpse of her flannel pajamas underneath. Under her round glasses, yesterday's makeup and purple eyeliner were slowly dripping down her face. She stood defiantly in Hermione's path, a bunny slipper on one foot, an untied tennis shoe on the other.

…Certainly not her finest moment.

"Miss Granger!" She began, readjusting her glasses, "I'm glad our paths in the universe have crossed again." Harry felt the revulsion well up inside Hermione.

"Er...really?" Hermione began to fiddle with a very interesting string attached to her robe, hoping that Trelawney might get the idea that she was _far_ too busy for this.

"Yes, my dear. You are _just_ the person I came down here to find! My inner eye told me you'd be leaving the owlery." Professor Trelawney threw her hands up in the air, causing the bracelets and the rings on her finger to jangle in Hermione's ear.

"…oh…"

"You see, I've come…" At this point, Trelawney snuck a peek around the corridor to make sure no one was listening, giving Hermione just enough time to scoff at her in defiance. "I've come to…warn you…"

"Hmph." Hermione crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I suppose your tea leaves told you that I shall shortly fall prey to hungry cannibals?"

"……No." Trelawney said curtly in a tone that strictly implied, 'Did I Teach You Nothing!'. "I had a dream last night….no…. It was – a _vision_."

"You don't say…?"

"I saw your room. It was dark outside and you were asleep. And then…then I saw something furry at the end of your bed."

Harry's eyes grew wide. Good. God. Was Trelawney about to make the third correct prediction of her life? He jumped up on Hermione's shoulders and tried to will the words out of the professor.

"It had four legs-"

Come on, Trelawney, you can say it!

"And two pointed, scraggly ears-"

Say it! Harry's inside the cat!

"And the most haunting eyes I've ever seen-"

Harry! Cat!

"And a crooked tail-"

Keep going!

"It was-"

YES!

"The GRIM!"

NOOO!

Harry felt utterly defeated. And a bit ill. Was he doomed to spend the rest of his life as a mangy cat? Yes, for the first hour or so, he had been lucky to be a cat and avoid Hermione's wrath. But she had calmed down considerably, and now she was really starting to worry about him. And just when he thought Trelawney was going to bail him out…

Why did he rest his hope in _her_ anyway?

He needed someone with sense. With experience with the feline and the mysterious. He needed McGonagall. Now, how to get to her…

"The…the grim?" Hermione was saying cautiously. "You saw the grim in my room?"

"Yes, dear. So I've come to warn you. Be very careful. Guard yourself – and your friends."

"O…ok, Professor. Thank you."

And with that, Trelawney traipsed down the hallway, tripping on the untied shoelaces of her tennis shoes every few meters.

"The grim…" Hermione mumbled. She wasn't actually going to _believe_ Trelawney, was she? "Oh, God. Crookshanks, what did Harry say about Trelawney? She's made two correct predictions in her life…God forbid this is the third…" She _was_ going to believe her! "What if – Harry's been taken? It's too much coincidence. She dreams about the grim in my room. We wake up the next morning, Harry's invisibility cloak's on the floor, and Harry's gone missing…"

'That's it, Hermione, keep thinking. Now, you've got to go to McGonagall!' Harry was mentally pushing her.

"Best we check the dungeons?"

"NO!" Harry screamed, but it only came out as a forced meow. Hermione wrinkled up her nose.

"Gosh, you're insistent this morning! Well, c'mon , Crookshanks!"

* * *

"Whaddaya mean you didn't find him?"

"I mean I didn't find him! What? You didn't either?"

"…no. You checked the owlery?"

"Yes."

"The dungeons?"

"Yes."

"The-"

"Ron!" Hermione gasped, "I checked everywhere you told me to, all right?!" She let her hands fall to the common room floor and scooped up Crookshanks, who was strangely clawing at her leg, and placed him on the couch beside her. It was around 9:00 now, in an hour or so the Common Room would be alive with excitement.

For a moment, Ron and Hermione continued their staring contest. "And no trace of Harry?"

"RON! NO! How many times are you going to ask me!?" Hermione threw her hands up in the air. "If there'd been a 'trace', don't you think I would've told you by now?!"

"Good God, Hermione, I was just asking!" Ron crossed his arms and made a very good show of being visibly offended.

"…..Oh, fine. I'm sorry. There, happy now? Ron, stop pouting, it's annoying." Hermione rested her chin in her hands and tried to ignore the annoying cat claws digging into her side.

"So…what do we do now?" Ron was fiddling with the corner of his tartan bathrobe.

"Ron, you _promised_ you'd go with me to see Professor McGonagall!" At this, Crookshanks sprung out of his seat and jumped onto the floor, staring up expectantly at Ron.

"I swear Hermione, you of all people…getting stirred up like this over Trelawney's bull predictions. You only want to go see McGonagall because it's about Harry. You go bonkers over the littlest thing involving him-" Suddenly, Crookshanks launched himself right into Ron's face, which made Ron make a sound very similar to a baby elephant and commence trying to pry the cat claws out of his forehead.

"That's not true! You know I'd do the same for you! Ron, are you listening?" Hermione stood up from the couch, "Will you PLEASE stop badgering my cat?!"

Ron froze, Crookshanks still hanging off his ear like an oversized earring. "ME?! ME, BADGERING YOUR CAT?! I'd gladly quit badgering your cat if it'd remove its paw from my nose!" At this point, Ron finally pried Crookshanks from him and let the cat tumble to the floor where it landed with a hiss. "What's wrong with that cat today, Hermione? He's meaner than usual…"

But Hermione wasn't listening to Ron at all. The second Crookshanks had been thrown to the floor, she hurried over and stooped down in front of him, picking him up and rubbing his back while whispering things like, 'Oh! You poor thing!' and 'How dare he do that to you!'. When she finally turned her attention back to Ron, it was only with anger. "Ron! You could've hurt him!" Ron scoffed at this while he tried to stop the bleeding on his forehead. "Look, I'm going upstairs to change, and then we're all going to go see Professor McGonagall, and That Is That!"

Ron rolled his eyes at her in defiance as he watched her walk up the stairs to the girl's dorm, cat in tow. Yes, there was definitely something strange about that cat today. Maybe he had imagined it…but when Hermione had been stroking it just a minute ago, it actually looked as if the cat….was smiling.

* * *

Well, that's all for now! Hope you liked it, and as always, reviews and flames alike are quite welcome. Just leave me something! Till next time,

larachan


	4. Chapter 4

Hey all! Larachan here with chapter four and some news:

**I've ILLUSTRATED chapter 4!  
Well, a section of it anyways…**

**But I don't know if that's a good idea or not. If you want me to continue illustrating, tell me and I'll provide links to illustrations in the A/N's so you can go see them. If you think it's a waste of time, tell me that, too!!!**

And flames and reviews alike, as always, are quite welcome and will win you chapter 5 :)  
Now, to my reviewers who ROCK MY BEiNG!  
Nightwing 509 : Hehe, thanks so much, buddy! I'm glad you liked it and thanks very much for reviewing every chapter. It makes me so happy!!  
adri2000 : oh, no reason to do that now! ::pushes chapter 4 towards you:: here ya go!  
Admiral Lily : Haha, thankies! And here's the update, hope you enjoy!!  
Hermione Graner Potter : heh, glad you liked the grim part! And you're right, us H/Hr shippers have got to stick together!! ::virtual high five::  
artemisgirl : Hehe, read on to see what comes of it, hope you like!!  
CajunRouge : Hmm, you'll have to ask Harry about his body…he says it's kinda 'personal', hehe. I have no idea how long this is gonna be, but I know where it'll end up! The length depends on reader retainment ;)  
liz unfair : I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far! Hope you like chapter 4!!  
Granger-gurl-rox : yesh, Trelwaney just can't get off that grim, can she?? Thanks for the review!!  
numberoneseeker : ::is touched:: you think I'm a great writer? :huggles you: thank you! You're so nice! And I hope you like chapter 4!!  
Quist : Quisty!! Hehe, what a LOOOONG REVIEW! Thank you! Canon says that Cho was jealous of Hermione's relationship with Harry, and she basically told him so in book 5, it was part of their relationship's undoing. (see scene about the Room of Requirements and Harry teaching DADA) I feel so special that you are reading this even though you are a R/HR shipper, it makes me so happy!! Thank you!!  
Rukato86u :Harryshanks! I like it!! Haha, thanks for the review, buddy!  
Inylan: well I'm glad I could make your day better! Hope you're sticking around to read chapter 4 and thankies for the author alerts bit!!  
Wohsi : hehe, thank you! I'm glad you like it!!  
Auntartic : Thanks very much! And thankies for reviewing my HP stuff, dear, it's wonderful of you to do so!!  
Ashley Potter : hehe, Ron's part in the story is significant, he def. gives a lot of moral support everywhere. I hope you find chapter 4 and its ron-ness to your liking!  
pottersweetie : I wish I could! But that stupid school so often gets in the way! I sowy!! But better late than never, ne? ;

Piratesluv22: Well thank you! And I hope you're sticking around to read chapter 4!!  
fanjimmy: hehe, that will be a bit interesting, won't it? Thankies for the nice reviews!  
l-to-dah-izzie: Thanks dear, I'm glad you enjoy the updates! Here's another one!!  
Azulrealms: haha, I felt the same way in book 5, I'm such a H/Hr mongerer….I could NOT STAND HER!! Heh, thanks for the long review, friend!  
Dampilleta : MEOWNIE! That's so cute!! Hee, I haven't heard of that ficcie, I might have to do some digging and try to find it to read! Btw, cool username. Where did you think of it?

Nisha : hehe, I'm glad you thought it was funny!! Thanks for the reviews, as always, they are delightful and positive and make me want to write more!!  
Monkeystarz: What I wouldn't give for HARRY as a pet! That would rock!! Hehe, glad it was amusing. Hope you think the same about chapter 4!!  
Pannikittypiggyphant: hehe, glad you thought so! ::chucks chapter 4 at you:: hope you like!!  
tamar-shaki : your wish is my command!! Er…well…sooner than later…

Lunatic Pandora1: he could! But I hope you'll keep reading and find out what happens!!

Now, on with the story!! Title: 9 Lives for Harry Potter

Rating: PG-13 due to occasional strong/suggestive language, only when appropriate

Disclaimer: All characters affiliated with the Harry Potter series are property of J.K. Rowling and Scholastic Press

Summary: Harry has a problem… a furry problem… Somehow, he ends up in the body of Hermione's favorite cat, Crookshanks! But no magic is going to save him this time! H/Hr, R&R please!

* * *

Women…

Ron growled and checked his watch for the fifth time. Now it was Nine o'clock, twenty-one minutes, and thirteen seconds. It was official. Hermione was late.

Five more seconds and then he'd go to McGonagall's by himself.

One.

What was she doing up there, reconstructing a new face?

Two.

Does it really take _thirty minutes_ to throw some clothes on?

Three.

You'd think if she was so worried about Harry she'd put a little hurry in it…

Four.

It was damned inconsiderate of her to make him wait this long.

Five.

Ron snorted and started walking to the common room door, unlocked the chain, pulled it open with a slight creak, and-

"Ronald Weasley!" Ron winced. You _knew _she was mad when she used the full name… "You are the most impatient person I've ever met! Thinking of leaving without me, are you?"

His neck muscles involuntarily tightened. "…Me? _Impatient_? After waiting half an hour for you to – to do whatever it is you girls do?!" Ron wheeled around, ready to give Hermione a good chunk of his mind, and…stopped dead in the middle of his sentence.

She looked…cute… and girly. She wore a pleated skirt that her parents had sent her last Christmas, it accentuated her…assets nicely. Her yellow shirt brought out something different in her eyes that he had never seen before. And her hair – her beautiful, slightly wild, slightly sophisticated hair - was pulled back in a low ponytail with strands sticking out here and there.

He shook his head, hard. Getta hold of yourself Ron, you git. This is your best friend we're talking about here. This is Hermione for God's sake!  
And then, he noticed the bundle of fur at her feet. The bundle from hell…

Crookshanks rubbed against Hermione's legs as she smiled at him. Ron could hear the little devil purring from all the way across the room.

"No!" Ron pointed a finger at the possessed cat. "No! No! No! No! No!"

"Ron! What's the matter with you?" Hermione glared as she scratched the tabby's tummy.

"No way am I going if you're bringing that… that _thing_ along with you!"

"Oh Ron, c'mon, it's just a cat…"

"That's not a cat, that's a man-eating beast!" Crookshanks let out a long hiss.

Hermione covered the cat's ears with one hand. "Shh! You'll hurt his feelings!"

Ron seriously doubted that the animal had feelings, or a soul for that matter, but he decided to keep that opinion to himself as Hermione was giving him a particularly mean-spirited glare. "Look, you leave it here or go alone."

"You are _such_ a child…" Hermione rolled her eyes and started back up the stairs again, cat in tow. Crookshanks caterwauled and scratched her, threatening to jump out of her arms. "Ouch! Look, I – I know you wanna go, but you can't," Another loud meow. "So stay here and I'll be back in a minute!" She opened up the door to her dorm room, pried the cat's claws out of her sweater, and threw him inside, closing it fast behind him.

A decided thump rang out on the other side of the door. It almost sounded like a furry body ramming into wood…

"Well," The door thumped again as Hermione turned to walk back down the stairs. "Best be going then." Another thump.

"Yeah, c'mon." Thump. Ron held the door open for Hermione.

Thump.

If Hermione didn't know any better, she would've sworn that crazy cat was trying to break the door down…

* * *

Okay, he thought, let's be rational.

So, you're stuck in the body of a cat…

And not just any cat, but the cat of the girl you're madly in love with…

And now she thinks you're dead, or worse….

She and your best friend are about to go talk to the one person who _might_ be able to help you…

But they're not taking you…

Instead, you're trapped inside a girl's dorm room with a snoring Lavender and a knocked out Parvarti.

On top of that, your kitty shoulder feels like it's about to fall off your body because you've rammed the door so many times.

Things could be worse, right?

No.

Harry sat down on the stone cold floor and placed his paws over his head. There had to be _something _he could do…. His tail flicked back and forth behind him annoyingly. It was such a distraction! How did cats live with it? It never stopped moving whether Harry wanted it to or not.

Wait a minute…That's right. Harry had a tail, and a very active one at that. And if he could master the art of controlling it, maybe it could come in handy. He would write a note! It would be simple, just dip his tail in the inkwell and scribble on the paper. It didn't have to be perfect penmanship, just legible enough for Hermione to figure out what he was trying to say. Now…how was he gonna find paper?

Harry looked around the room frantically at all the things that wouldn't help him. Curtains? No… Chocolate frogs? Yummy, but no. Trunks? No.

Except…maybe… Harry caught sight of Hermione's trunk at the foot of her bed, bolted shut with an oversized lock. Surely, surely Miss Bookworm would have _some_ semblance of writing utensils in her trunk! He didn't know exactly how good cat claws were for picking locks, but he was about to find out.

Harry bounded across the room and leapt on the top of the trunk, hitting the wood hard. He knocked the lock with one paw. He couldn't get the trunk open. He tried to jam a nail in the keyhole and only succeeded in breaking it off at the quick, causing him to stifle a caterwaul. He was now _bleeding_ and _still_ couldn't get the trunk open…he started to freak out.

Slowly, Harry's chest began to tighten up, he became anxious and found it suddenly difficult to breathe. Great. He was going to hyperventilate. He was going to be a bleeding, hyperventilating 6th year stuck in the body of a cat. Things had just gotten a hell of a lot worse.

Out of the corner of his eye, Harry caught a glimpse of a giant white thing spiraling across the room. He flattened himself across the top of the trunk and watched as the pillow whooshed over his head, landing firmly on top of Parvarti's sleeping form.

"Uh! Lavender!" Parvarti sat up in bed just enough to hurtle the pillow back at her friend. "What was _that_ for?!"

"P-P-Parvarti," Lavender yawned. "you're keeping me up with all the wheezing. Use your inhaler or something, will ya?!"

"S'not me! S'the cat!" Parvarti fell face first under the covers again.

"The…cat?" Lavender raised up on one arm and scratched her head, catching a glimpse of 'Crookshanks'. "_You've_ been keeping me up? Tsk, tsk, tsk." She swung out of bed and headed towards him, arms outstretched.

Holy sh-

Harry tried to scramble away, but she had him by the tail before he knew it. He felt himself being lifted up and carried across the room. Lavender lay back down on the bed and placed a heavy hand on 'Crookshank's' back. He tried to squirm, to break free, but she just held on tighter. "Now, you just stay right here, ok?" she cooed, before she shut her eyes and immediately fell into deep snoring.

Like he had a choice…

* * *

"It is entirely too early for your games, Miss Granger."

"Since when have _I_ ever played games? I'm the responsible one, remember, Professor?"

"Hey! What does that make me-oof!" Hermione gave Ron a quick jab with her elbow and directed her attention back to the slightly peeved Professor McGonagall.

"This is ridiculous. I'm not a babysitting service and I am far too busy to entertain such crazy notions. People don't just disappear! Apparate, maybe, but disappear, no."

"That's what _I_ said, Professor, but no one ever listens to me because, apparently, she's the responsible o-oof! HERMIONE WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT!"

"RON YOU INCONSIDERATE-"

"ENOUGH!" Professor McGonagall slammed her fist on the desk, sending a few of her papers flying. She sighed and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "I'm not going to get any work done until I assuage you both, am I?" Hermione nodded sullenly. "Fine. I'll search for Mr. Potter… but be warned Miss Granger, when we inevitably find him, all three of you are going to be in serious trouble for wasting my time…"

* * *

Two hours. TWO HOURS! She had searched for two hours, overturned every stone, opened ever door, nothing. NOTHING! She ran through the halls, pushing past anyone in her way, toppling a few kids to the floor. A door swung open in front of her and she slammed it back with the palm of her hand, marching onwards, barely hearing the sound of a glass being dropped and muffled curse words from an angry Severus. Finally, she made her way to his office.

Her voice cracked and she fidgeted nervously. "er…Licorice gumdrops." The heavy wooden door swung open and she ran up the stairs.

She slammed her hands on his desk and gasped, pieces of hair falling out around her face from her usually secure bun. "Harry Potter's gone!"

Albus Dumbledore jumped at her tone, and then pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose with a slightly unsteady hand. "W-what did you just say, Minerva?"

* * *

"_Attention students!"_

Dumbledore's voice came out of the corners of the dorm room where an intercom system might have been in any other school. Lavender sat up in bed enough for Harry to finally free himself of her.

"_Effective immediately all Hogwarts students will be confined to the castle until further notice. Anyone caught in flagrant disobedience of this rule will suffer detention and risk expulsion from Hogwarts."_

That was weird… Was there some strange danger on the outside of the castle?

"_And furthermore, if anyone has any information about the whereabouts of Mr. Harry Potter, Gryffindor, please present yourself at the headmaster's office immediately."_

Gulp. Harry's ears were ringing. This was really, really, really bad.

Lavender stood up and crossed the room. "'S'odd, isn't it, Parvarti. C'mon, let's go see what the others think." She opened up the door to the dorm room a crack and 'Crookshanks' darted out, and for all the world she would have sworn the cat was meowing to himself….

* * *

Minerva drummed her fingers on her desk to avoid the swallowing silence of her office. She was actually making herself sick with worry; a thousand different explanations of Harry's disappearance were tearing through her brain, each on gorier than the last.

Unexpectedly, a cat leapt up onto the top of her desk and sat down right in the middle of a stack of her papers. She recognized it as the feline Miss Granger was always dragging everywhere.

"Move, Crookshanks…I'm too preoccupied to fool with you." She raised a hand to brush the cat off of her desk and…

It scratched her, hard.

"Crookshanks!" She attempted to stare the cat down, glaring into its emerald eyes. "How dare-" Wait…emerald eyes? "YOU!" Minerva jumped out of her chair sending things all over the room crashing to the floor. She pointed an accusatory finger at the cat.

"HARRY POTTER, YOU GET OUT OF THAT CAT BODY RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"

"……….Meowr…"

"What do you _mean_ YOU CAN'T?! You got yourself in there, you get yourself out! That's what happens when you're a closet animagi!"

"……."

"….y-you're not a secret animagi?"

"meeeeeowr!"

"You're STUCK?!" Minerva plopped down in her chair again and placed her head in her hands. She fished around in her pockets for her wand. "Er……._transform_!" A few blue shoots sprung out of the wand.

"Hey!" Harry yelped. "Watch where you're pointing that thing!"

"Don't get smart with _me_, Mr. Potter, or Hagrid'll have cat for dinner tonight!" Minerva sighed again. "Now, let's see…_personificus_"

"_Metamorphose!"_

_"CHANGE, DAMMIT!"_

This was getting tiresome, and Harry was becoming quite agitated with having to dodge all of Professor McGonagall's well-aimed sparks. The professor rose from her chair again and put the wand back in her cape. "Mr. Potter, you stay right here in this office and _don't go anywhere_." She said, as if the moment she turned her back on him, Harry would dissipate out of the room in a show of pink genie smoke. "I'm going to go talk to the Headmaster …"

* * *

"Hn…Hn…Hn….Ha….Ha…..HAHAHAHA!"

"ALBUS! THIS IS _NOT_ AMUSING!"

Dumbledore whisked the tears from the corners of his merry eyes and stared at the ultra-serious Minerva. "Come, come, now, Professor. You can't honestly say that out Harry Potter doesn't get himself into some strange predicaments!"

"What makes you think this is all Harry's doing, Albus?" Minerva crossed her arms in front of her chest and scowled.

"Surely, Minerva, you aren't suggesting that Voldermort turned Harry into a cat, are you?"

"……no…… not exactly…..I'm just stating…..well….. It would make his job a whole lot easier, wouldn't it?!"

Dumbledore's eyes widened a bit. __

"Ah, point taken…. Well… I suppose the trick is to act as if we are still searching for the 'missing' Harry Potter, and keep a very close eye on Mr. 'Crookshanks'."

"I-I guess, Albus… but don't you think we should tell the Order and the other teachers at least? Right now, they all still think Harry's in some horrible danger…"

Dumbledore stroked his long beard. "I think its best if this stays between me, you, and Harry." Minerva shook her head, surprised. "Experience _has_ told us, Minerva, that one never knows exactly who one is working against in times like these." She grimaced. That's right, no one had ever suspected poor little Peter Pettigrew. And if something sinister was behind Harry's change, then more people knowing about it only served to endanger more people. Dumbledore was right, it was best just to keep it between the three of them. Now, if only she could convince Harry of that…"

* * *

"WHAT?!" Harry roared. Of course, it came out more like a loud meowing caterwaul.

"It's not like Professor Dumbledore and I won't be researching ways to bring you back…It's just that, in the meantime, we think it best if you keep this to yourself."

"Yeah, to myself, fine. But Hermione and Ron have a right to know, too!"

"But they can't, Harry."

"Professor! They're worried about me! I gotta tell them!" Harry hissed and batted a paw in Professor McGonagall's direction.

"Harry, I FORBID you to tell anyone, through any means of communication, about your…er…condition!"

"What're you gonna do if I do? I'm a CAT for God's sake!"

"I'll…..I'll….expel you!"

"You'd expel a cat?!"

Professor McGonagall sighed. "Harry. Look at me." She grabbed his furry face in her hands and turned her towards him. "You wake up one morning and you're a cat. We don't know why. And we don't know how to turn you back. Furthermore, we don't know _what_, or most likely, _who_, did this to you. Telling Miss Granger, or even Mr. Weasley might put them in danger…"

Harry's heart contracted. Hermione? In danger? That's the last thing he wanted… He nodded and Professor McGonagall let go of him. So that was that. He was a silent pet for now.

Would he be a silent pet forever?

* * *

Well children, that's all for now. Flames and reviews alike are quite welcome and will win you chapter 5! I'll reiterate my question again. If you want me to illustrate chapters and provide links to illustrations, tell me so. If not, tell me that too!

Till next time, and thanks for reading!  
larachan


	5. Chapter 5

Hey everyone!!   
Sorry for dropping off the face of the earth for about six weeks...school has been _MURDER_. So finally, I'm back, and lemme just say that I won't give this story up until it is done, however long it takes. My updates are just crazy spaced out because of homework/college visits/fatigue/life

With that said, THANKS SO MUCH TO ALL WHO REVIEWED LAST CHAPTER! You all rock my world!!

Nightwing509: Aww, thankies! I'm really, really glad you liked it! And I'm glad it made you laugh, too ;) Hope you're still with me!!   
artemisgirl: Thanks!! I appreciate the support and I'm happy you think it's cool!!   
Hermione Graner Potter: Haha, sorry about that 'update soon' part!!! da oops thanks for r&r-ing though and once again, loved your story about HHR wedding, 'twas great!!   
fanjimmy: haha, indeed!! And here's the next update, thanks again!   
Admiral Lily: thanks!! Sorry about the long update time, but crosses fingers I hope it was worth it!   
Miss Psychopath: nice user name!! is touched thank you SO MUCH for saying that. I hope you like this next chapter!   
aphrodite24goddess: I'm sorry it took so long to churn this next chapter out, but I'm so glad you liked the other one! Hope you're still reading!!

Lunatic Pandora1: I'm glad you thought so!! Hehe, I'm really glad it makes sense on some level. Thanks for reading and reviewing!!   
Monkeystarz: huggles you hehe, I 3 your reviews, they always make me smile!! Hopefully you like this chappie too!!   
tamar-shaki: Thank you so much! I'm glad that you found it that funny! Here's hoping that this next chapter lives up to your expectations!!   
turtlegurl: I'm not altogether sure that Harry has the map by the end of the fifth book. I think that it was never given back to him. And it is Harry's, so Ron and Hermy wouldn't really know where to look. Plus, whoever did this to Harry is powerful enough to overpower the magic of Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore. If they were thinking that far ahead, surely they would have thought to overpower the magic of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, who were not in their prime and didn't have their complete magical potential when they created the map. On the basis of those two arguments, I discounted the map as a tool to rescue Harry. Good question! Thanks for reading/asking!! see funvince's review for more info

Granger-gurl-rox: haha, glad you thought that part was funny, and I hope you'll drop by to check out chapter 5!!   
Jae: bows thank you so much for the high praise!! I'm thrilled that you like it so much!! Hope chapter five is satisfactory   
Ashley Potter13: hehe, I'm sooo glad you thought so!! Sorry about the long delay, but I hope you're still around to read chapter 5!!   
the-power-of-love: hehe, thanks for reading and reviewing!! I really appreciate it and I'm glad you enjoy reading this ficcie!!   
fatermay1: hehe, email me at and tell me what you're gonna do, then we can talk about it more, ok? I'm so happy you're that interested!! Thanks for R&R-ing!!   
Arcanine aka Hermione Girl: Thanks for the supper! I'm glad you think it's funny and sorry about the long update time!!   
Auntartic: MWHAHAHAHA, now there's an idea!! You should write it!! It would be teh awesomeness I'm sure!! Thanks for the review!   
withcygrl1413: cute username!! Hehe thanks for the support, hope the update time wasn't TOO long ;)   
Adri2000: I would be happy to read your story! Give me a few days to really, _really_ go over it, so maybe I can give helpful commentary, and I'll get back to you about it. Thanks for letting me read it!   
shdurrani: thanks! I'm glad you thought it was funny!! hint good point, maybe the kneazle side of Harry might show itself a bit later on....hint

Inylan: aww thanks!! Hehe, I'm happy that you enjoyed it, it means the world to me when people can enjoy my work!!   
coolchar: hehe sorry about that update time, but I'm glad you like it!!!   
TacoBeesh5190: Hehe, thanks! Your wish is my command   
pottersweetie: aww, you're so nice to say that! Er..sorry about that update wait, but better late than never, right? Thnx for reading!!   
CajunRouge: Thank you!! Hehe that makes me feel great, your review brightened _my_ day. Thanks again, and I hope you like this next chapter!!   
FairyWings101: thanks! Hope this chapter meets expectations!!

Sugarhighloon: hey, cool username!! Thanks for the comment and for reading/reviewing!!   
l-to-dah-izzie: aww, you're sweet to say that, I really appreciate it!! And I hope you like chapter 5, too!   
Aveista: HAHA! Your review made me lol, hehe that was great to open at 6 AM, thanks again for the review, and I'm really happy that you thought it was good!   
Quist QUISTY!! ::glomps:: hehe, thanks for your nice as always comments. Sorry I kinda dropped off the charts for a month or so there, but maybe I'm back on track now, ne?? thanks again, and hope you're still w/ me!!

Funvince: Thankies about the info on the marauder's map, good idea about Ron & Hermy asking Dumbledore for it! Haha, that's ok, I'm twisted too see chapter thanks again for the review/interest, it means a lot to me!!   
tfishot: hehe, sure thing, buddy! Here ya go, hope you like it!   
Dampilleta: that's a really pretty maiden name!! heh, glad you liked McGonagall/Harry drama. More to follow, just because I think McGonagall is a super fun character. Thanks again for reviewing!!   
BakaAngel: hehe, glad you liked the Pig stuff! And don't write Ron off too soon in this story, I'm always up for some surprises ;)   
Aquarius Chik 101: hehe, thanks for thinking so! Hope you'll stick around to read the next update!!   
Bahaghari: Thank you so much for your nice comments. I'm glad you liked those scenes, they were a blast to write! I hope to see you this installment, too! Thanks again!! And two reviews, thanks, buddy! Feel special, your review was the one that made me get off my butt and start writing ;)   
midnite star watcher: aww, thanks! Here's your update!   
HERMIONE102: well, sooner than never, anyways... hehe, sorry for the long wait!!   
spazzyelfgirl: love the username!! Haha, here you go, hope you enjoy!!   
Shelma: aww, thank you! I really appreciate your nice comments! I'm glad you think it's romantic!!

black-velvet-roses11: well, sort of soon-ish anyhoo. Thanks for the review and I hope you're still reading!!   
Maze2004: hehe thankies, glad you liked it and here's chapter 5!!   
Kallan Myers: hehe, as you wish! I'm glad to know you liked it!!   
kittie: LOVE your username! Hehe, we'll have to see what kind of trouble Harry gets himself into, there's almost no telling!! Thanks for the review!!

THANKS AGAIN! And as always, for this chapter, Reviews and Flames alike are welcome!!

Now, on with the story!!

_> > > > > > > > > > > > > > >_

_Tap-tap-tap-tap-tap!_   
Someone's knuckles were beating out a bright, cheery song on the wood.

"Hermione, you in there?" A feminine voice called from the other side of the heavy door.

"No."

"Hermione, its Lavender! Lemme in!"

She buried her head deeper in her pillow.

"I'm serious, Hermione! If you don't open this door RIGHT NOW I'll....I'll turn your cat into a dust mite!" Lavender stamped one foot outside on the landing and a plaintive meow soon followed.

Hmph. What a Dramatist. Can't a girl get a moment alone to worry herself the eys out of her head?

It had been 32 hours and 28 minutes since Dumbledore had made the school-wide announcement. And Harry Potter, Harry James Boy-With-The-Scar Gryffindor-Seeker Dementor-Fighter Amazingly-Courageous-Daring-And-Stupid Potter, was still missing. Worse than that, Hermione and Ron seemed to be the only ones deeply disturbed. Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore went about their daily business as if the complete disappearance of a student was of no particular concern to them.

McGonagall had even confronted Hermione in the hallway earlier that day and told her to buck up, no use fretting over something she couldn't change.

Of all the insensitive, irrational- _honestly, had the teachers gone mad?!_

After that little conversation, Hermione had run up to her room, locked the door behind her, fallen on to her bed, and missed her last three classes. She would've stayed under the covers forever if Little Miss Gossip hadn't come knocking.

She wiped the corners of her eyes with the back of her hands, slowly crossing the room, and turned the iron lock.

Her cat shot through the cracked door and positioned himself on the radiator, apparently thankful to escape Lavender's wrath. Lavender leaned casually against the doorframe. She gave Hermione the once-over and then sauntered in, pulling a magazine from her nightstand and plopping down on her bed.

"Didn't know I was a doorman..." Hermione's voice came out harsher than she expected.

"Well! Looks like someone's got their knickers in a knot. What's wrong with you? You weren't in Snape's class. Not your studious self today, eh, Hermione?"

"Would _you_ be?!" Hermione snapped. She could feel the tears starting to fleck the corners of her eyes again. _Oh God, Hermione, don't tear up again...not in front of Lavender....It'll be all over Hogwarts before you can say-_ She tried to recover, "Er...was Snape mad?"

Lavender still had her nose buried in her magazine. "I think he was too preoccupied with Neville spilling bubotuber puss all over himself to be mad." Hermione exaheld the breath she had been holding. Good. He probably didn't notice her absence, then. She pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and blew into it.

Hermione!" Lavender, suddenly quite attentive, stared at her over the top of her copy of _Witches Weekly_. "Have you been...crying?"

A blush crept over Hermione's cheeks. "N-no! Why would you say that?"

"You can't lie one whit, can you? You're upset about Mr. Potter?"

Hermione turned her back towards Lavender. "This is...not the time..." She crossed her arms in front of her and bit her bottom lip, trying to concentrate on the sunset outside her window. _I Will Not Cry In Front Of Lavender. I Will Not Cry In Front Of Lavender..._

Lavender was rustling behind her, the bed creaking as she stood up and walked across the room. Hermione felt Lavender's arms around her shoulders.

"Hermione..."

_Happy thoughts..._

"It's okay..."

_Peaceful beaches..._

"They'll find him..."

_Fluffy clouds..._

"I mean..."

_Sad clowns..._

" I hope they do..."

_Dammit_

"L-Lavender...W-Where is he?" Hermione cupped her face in her hands.

"Dunno... But, Hermione...wherever he is, he wouldn't want you to lock everyone out of your room, or skip classes, or cry all the time...your complexion'll get all splotchy. Why don't you get hold of yourself and go find Ron in the Great Hall? Maybe he saved you some dinner."

She nodded and wiped her eyes on her sleeve, then put her school robes back on and dragged herself out of her room.

Hermione turned around, her hand on the knob. "Er...Lavender?"

"Hmm?"

"...thnknks."

Lavender raised one eyebrow. "What was that, Hermione? A little louder?"

"Ahem...thnksn..."

"Still can't hear you!"

"Oh Good God... Thanks! Thank you! THANK YOU! Happy now?!" She slammed the door, her voice carrying on down the hallway, "of all the intolerable, impossible..."

Lavender rolled her eyes and plopped back down on her bed. "She's certainly back to normal..."

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

"Yorkshire pudding! Pass it here, Seamus!"

Seamus struggled to talk through mouthfuls of beef pie. "noh uhntihl ah geh ih, 'On, 'ou're a 'og!"

"A what?" Ron grappled with Seamus for the dish.

Something plopped down beside Ron at the table. He caught sight of bushy brown hair out of the corner of his left eye. "A hog, Ron, you're a hog. Yorkshire pudding, huh? How ironic, Harry's favorite..."

Ron whipped his head around. "Hermione! What're you doing here?!"

"A girl gets hungry!"   
"'S'not what I mean! Snape'll skin you if he knows you weren't sick and didn't show up to his class!"

"Who said I was sick?"

"Er....well...."

"Ron did! He talked to him after everyone left and told him you were 'ill'." Seamus interjected, his pudding grudge vindicated.

"What?! Why would you do something so STUPID?!"

"I was trying to HELP YOU OUT, Miss I'm Too Depressed To Bother Showing Up For Class! Cor, Hermione, Don't get so shirty!"

"Erm...Ron? Hermione? Snape's coming-" Neville said, barely audible.

"HELP ME OUT?! BY LYING?! SPIFFING, RON, SIMPLY SPIFFING!"

"WELL IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME!"

"Guys? Er...Snape.... he's-"

"_HONESTLY_, RON! WHAT ANIMAL CRAWLED INTO YOUR BRAIN AND DIED THERE?! WHAT MADE YOU-"

"GUYS!" Neville smacked a fist on the table.

"Ahem..." A tall, shadowy figure cleared his throat behind Hermione. Every vein in her body froze. "Miss Granger. You seem to have made an astonishing recovery from your nasty bout of Tasmanian Toad's Warts. My office. Now."

Hermione gritted her teeth as she rose to follow Snape out of the Great Hall "You told him I had _warts!?_" Ron shrugged, his ears growing slightly pink. He watched as Snape's black cape billowed around the corner, turning back towards his table.

"Neville, you prat! Why didn'tcha _tell us_ Snape was behind us?!"

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

She tried to still her chattering teeth. Snape's dungeon was even colder at night without that little bit of sunlight that usually poured through the iron bars. Her heart kept thumping loudly in her ears; she was sure he could hear it, too...she was beyond nervous. Never, never, ever had Hermione Granger skipped classes at Hogwarts, or been in serious trouble with a teacher for that matter. She found herself holding her breath as Snape situated himself behind his desk.

"P-professor-"

He held up a hand to stop her. "Miss Granger. Top Sixth Year in Gryffindor. Top Marks six straight years in a row. Flawless attendance record. Until now." Snape spread his fingers apart, each joint cracked in turn.

Hermione shuddered. "But Professor, I...Harry-"

"HARRY POTTER!" Snape roared, slamming his fist down on his desk, his eyes becoming unusually large and fish-like in his stark white face. "All this utter NONSENSE about Mr. Potter is the reason you SKIPPED MY CLASS?"

Hermione's eyes sparked with something not wholly human. "With all due _respect_," she spat as if she was speaking to a toddler, "I hope you didn't say 'nonsense' in reference to-"

"I have heard enough." Snape narrowed his gaze and stood like a judge for the execution. He crossed his office and began rummaging through a cabinet, appearing moments later with a beaker filled with gray, bubbling blobs. He sat the beaker in front of Hermione.

"First things first. fifty points from Gryffindor."

"But professor-"

"Secondly, I am a firm believer in the punishment fitting the crime. Rather than pretending you have all sorts of illnesses, let us make it official. Before you is a beaker filled with Toad's Bladder Brew, a concoction guaranteed to produce a nasty, though not fatal, case of Tasmanian Toad's Warts upon administering it to the skin. Miss Granger, drink it."

_Slits glistened in the corner of the room._

Hermione gasped for air. "Professor Snape, you can't do-"

_Claws against stone, silently, stealthily, angrily.__ Stalking in savannah grass._

"We can sit here all night, Miss Granger, or you can comply."

_Flick of a tail,_

Snape picked up the vial and moved it towards Hermione; she leaned against the back of her chair.

_Fur, and, _

"Come, come now, Miss Granger. Afraid of a few warts?"

_SPRING!_

"Professor!" Hermione leaped up and stumbled backwards as something flew from a dark corner of the room towards Snape's arm. Whatever it was elongated itself in midair and hit Snape, hard, then landed lightly on the other side of the desk. Snape shrieked as he lost his balance and dropped the jar, slivers of glass pincurling and clinking on the floor. The grey liquid oozed on to his hands.

"Miss...Miss...GRANGER!" Snape pointed a pus-filled finger at the floor next to his desk. "IS THAT THING YOURS?!"

Hermione followed his finger to the ground, where a furry mass sat calmly cleaning his face. "Cr...CROOKSHANKS!" She shrieked, scooping him up hurriedly.

"That cat is as good as DEAD, Miss Granger!" Snape roared. "MINERVA!"

Snape was already starting to break out in warts. Hermione high-tailed it for the dungeon door, cat in tow. "Miss Granger, COME BACK HERE!"

She had her hand on the doorknob-

Flung it open and-

Was confronted with a rather flustered Professor McGonagall. "Miss Granger? Harr-...rr..er.... C-crookshanks? I thought I heard Professor Snape call for me-GOOD GOD! Severus, _what's happened_?! You're...GREEN!"

Professor Snape was indeed turning a nice shamrock color. His skin had a slimy sheen to it, and the warts were starting to become more pronounced. "That...THAT CAT! IT DID THIS TO ME! That Crooks-...oh...no...Crr...Crrro...CrrrOAK!"

Professor McGonagall put a hand to her mouth, trying to stifle a laugh. "Severus! Good heavens!"

Snape not-so-gracefully leaped up onto his desk, scattering papers on the stone floor. "Minerva! CrrrOAK! Quick,_ do_ something! CrrrrOAK! CRRRRRRRROAK!"

"O-of course! I'll get Albus, Severus! with me, Hermione." She grabbed Hermione's hand and pulled her out of Snape's office, shutting the door tightly behind them.

"Professor, I swear, I didn't mean to, I-" Hermione dove in.

McGonagall waved her off. "Miss Granger, I'll forego all disciplinary action on one condition."

"Wh-what's that?"

Professor McGonagall lowered her eyes, an embarrassed look crossing her face. "I need to...er...borrow...your........cat."

"What, Crookshanks? O-okay-" Crookshanks crawled up Hermione's shoulder, trying to hide under her hair. "Crookshanks, now stop that!" She peeled him off of her. "Can't you behave even for a minute?" Hermione placed the cat in McGonagall's arms and he made a strange caterwauling sound. "There you go, Professor. He likes to be scratched behind his right ear."

McGonagall scowled. "Is. That. So... Go back to your room, Miss Granger. I'll bring Har-...er...him...to the Common Room later tonight."

Hermione nodded, pretending to leave, and hid herself behind a statue. Professor McGonagall dropped Crookshanks to the floor. "Well, come on." She said, and started walking towards her office. To Hermione's shock, Crookshanks trotted after her. Then, McGonagall seemed to start...mumbling...to the cat.

"You've certainly gotten yourself into a mess this time! Do you want the whole castle to know your 'predicament'? Ouch! If you don't stop that scratching, I will be forced to declaw you! And leg-rubbing won't get you anywhere with me, Mister Pot-"

Her office door slammed closed with a final thud.

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

Well, that's all for this chapter, hope you enjoyed it! As always, Flames and Reviews alike are quite welcome!!

**NEXT**** CHAPTER:** MORE RONNIEKINS! And that Malfoy brat grrr, and some Ginny thrown in for seasoning ;) as well as other general mayhem. Till next time!!


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